Navigating the Night: A First-Time Mom's Journey Through Postpartum Trenches and Sunset Scaries

Becoming a first-time mom is a whirlwind of joy, love, and unexpected challenges. As the days blend into nights, the postpartum period can feel like navigating through uncharted territory—what I lovingly call the 'newborn trenches.' Among these challenges are the 'sunset scaries,' those moments of anxiety and exhaustion that creep in as the sun sets and the demands of motherhood intensify. In this post, I share my honest experiences, the sleepless nights, the emotional highs and lows, and the strategies that helped me find strength and resilience during this transformative time. Whether you're a new mom or supporting one, join me as we explore the realities of postpartum life and discover ways to embrace the beautiful chaos of motherhood. I have quickly noticed that everyone leaves out the scary parts of motherhood and the unknown feelings that come with it. My thought process is that they don't want to scare new moms, but then when you experience them - you are constantly googling to see if you are the ONLY one going through these thoughts and feelings... and I am here to tell you that you are not the only one. Those first couple of weeks with your newborn are nothing short of easy. You just brought home a whole new life into your world, such a new experience for all. With that, you are also battling an insane amount of hormonal changes and exhaustion from lack of sleep due to fear, worry, and your sweet baby who is also learning how to live earthside as well. I felt so alone during those first two weeks, even though I had an amazing and supportive husband as well as a ton of friends and family checking in and offering help constantly. But, these feelings are internal as well as short lived - so here was my personal experience. Every night, when the sun went down, I had a instant feeling of anxiety hover over me. I personally do not like night time anyways. As weird as this sounds, I hate going to bed. The feeling of another day passing by and being over has always been unsettling to me! We also had our sweet daughter in the month of November, during the time change. So the sun now sets at 5PM and it is completely dark by 5:30 which makes the day feel longer as well. (I hate the time change, can we please get rid of it already?) My husband always heads to the gym after work as well to keep up with his "normal" routine, so most nights when it got dark it was just my daughter and I at home. I would cry uncontrollably, get worried for the night ahead, and would constantly wonder what was wrong with me... Turns out, I wasn't the only one who had these feelings. It's a very normal feeling, actually. They call it the "Sunset Scaries", and after expressing this feeling to other close mom friends, they stated they also had this feeling. It's a mixed emotions of uncertainty, exhaustion, postpartum anxiety, and also the feeling of comparison wondering why I am the "only" mom feeling this way and almost feeling ashamed to talk about it. I am here to say, GIRL. You shouldn't feel ashamed. This is totally normal, and you ARE a good Mom. I have always loved the phrase, "If you are worried about being a good mom, you already are a good mom." and I will constantly say that in my head as a reminder. These feelings subsided for me after 2 weeks. Not to say they can't and won't last longer for you, because everyone's journey is so different, but here are some things I did to help me subside these feelings: 1. Talk to people about it. I talked to my husband, my mom, and other mom friends. It made me feel normal, and they had great words of encouragement. 2. Prioritize self care. Tell your partner that you would like to go take a shower and just wind down and relax for a short bit while they do some of the nighttime duties of feeding, changing, and soothing. You need your time and space too! 3. Stay hydrated and nourished. Make sure you are eating and drinking enough! Wild how this can effect you so much. 4. Listen to music or a podcast during your self care time. Music is a huge part of my life. I listen to music when I am anxious, happy, sad, and just whenever I can! I would turn on my favorite songs and sing along. 5. Use affirmations & pray.

7. Remember that it truly is just a phase, although in the time you think it will last forever, it doesn't. You are all learning this new way of life and you will truly miss it. You don't want to remember these days as just miserable. There are so many beautiful things about this phase too. I hope that just hearing this from another first time mom can help validate your feelings to know that you are not alone. I guarantee you can ask any other mom in your life if they had these feelings, and while they may not remember now, it was a thing for them too. As always, remember that you are doing amazing.